More Deep Thoughts - Older Women

I first found reference to the following list on another blog I happened by today. It was widely believed shortly after its original publication circa 2000 that the author was Andy Rooney, but after doing some research (nothing personal, that's just how I am...), it turns out the actual author was Frank Kaiser, whose original can be found here.

Now that I have given credit where credit is due (thanks for the lead, though!), I present you with these excerpts from the article that I found pretty hilarious, or should I say 'observant'. Now I do not feel like such an old fart. Enjoy!

• An older woman knows how to smile with such brightness and truth, old men stagger.


• An older woman will never ask out of the blue, "What are you thinking?" An older woman doesn't care what you think.


• An older woman's been around long enough to know who she is, what she wants, and from whom. By the age of 50, few women are wishy-washy. About anything. Thank God!


• Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off that you are a jerk if you're acting like one. A young woman will say nothing, fearing that you might think worse of her. An older woman doesn't give a damn.


• Most older women cook well. They care about cleanliness. They're generous with praise, often undeserved.


• An older woman has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A young woman often snarls with distrust when "her guy" is with other women. Older women couldn't care less.


• Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to an older woman. Like your mother, they always know.

Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal.

For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed babe of 75 there's a bald, paunchy relic with his yellow pants belted at his armpits making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.

Ladies, I apologize for my fellow geezers. That men are genetically inferior is no secret. Count your blessings that we die off at a far younger age, leaving you the best part of your lives to enjoy and appreciate the exquisite woman you've become. Without the distraction of some demanding old fart clinging and whining his way into your serenity.

I love this guy! I only wish I'd stumbled upon this years ago!