Tuesday, April 16, 2013

I Needed To Share

There is a refrigerator at work, and the people who use it take turns with cleaning/purging duties. This was the best "I'm done" email I've seen, and I needed to share:

Regarding the cleaning of the refrigerator next to the conference rooms, I apologize for the late delivery but I have just regained the necessary cognitive and motor skills required to formulate this response.  Evidently the few additional days of development had some negative side-effects. 

The last item I remember removing from the refrigerator was an un-initialed item (in a can) labeled “Chris L’s Family Favorites”, distributed by Urbana Undertakers, and I believe it was the “Chili con Carnage” variety.  If interested in getting any of this, it is available at any Urbana demolition supply store located between the rodent control solutions and the deck stains.  Anyhow, evidently some of its contents had dripped onto side of the can and made contact with my skin.  Almost immediately, my eyes rolled back, my hair stood on its ends, and I lost consciousness.  I did see a bright light but then I heard a voice that sounded like James Earl Jones saying “I don’t have time to deal with him now”.  And then I awoke. 

Although I don’t have my sense of smell, taste, or touch back, I do have 20% of my hearing and 50% of my sight back.  The doctors said I was extremely lucky.  It seems the contents of the can are both a poison and an antidote.  Fortunately for me, I often suck my thumb during near-death experiences.  This bad habit supplied me with the needed second dose.

I later managed to dispose of this un-initialed item.  I sure wish I knew who put it in there so I could tell them a thing or two. 

I'm still laughing. And no, I do not participate in the refrigerator usage, because I think the cleaning responsibilities could kill me.

I hope to be crafty again one day, very soon. Thanks for stopping by!


  1. That is so funny. I worked at a place where I would not have gone near the refrigerator either!

  2. HAH!!! I feel bad for whoever has a desk near that fridge. I'm sure it smells disgusting all times of the day


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