I got this in an email today, and I still laugh out loud every time I read it, so I thought I'd share (spelling and punctuation corrected, of course.) Sorry if it's been around before and now it is back again, but it is new to me, so I am sharing anyway. Just move along if it is old news to you. Oh, and pttttht!
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Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder. Somehow I feel better, even though I have it!!
Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D.: Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is an ordinary day's example of how it manifests itself:
I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway ...
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.
As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I'd brought up from the mail box earlier. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.
But, then I think: since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only one check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking.
I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.
The Coke is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye -- they need water.
I put the Coke on the counter and discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.
I decide I'd better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the newspaper. Someone left it on the kitchen table.
I realize that tonight when I get time to read, I'll be looking for the paper, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
So, I set the newspaper back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.
Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day:
The car isn't washed.
The bills aren't paid.
There is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter.
The flowers don't have enough water.
There is still only 1 check in my check book!
I can't find the newspaper!
I can't find my glasses!
I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
And there is a huge flood in the yard from the hose being on all day!
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day, and I'm really tired.
I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail....
Do me a favor. Forward this message to everyone you know, because I don't remember who I've sent it to.
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Okay, my dear readers...how many of you are LAUGHING OUT LOUD and NODDING AT THE SCREEN right now? Hmmmmmm? Seriously, I do believe they have described me, to a 'T'! (What does "to a T" mean, anyway? I'll have to go look that up. See, another distraction.)
[ETA: Okay, I looked it up: http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/to-a-t.html and http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-toa2.htm. That last one includes the following tidbit: ... The origin that most experts point to, rather cautiously, involves T being the first letter of a word. If this is the case, then tittle is easily the most likely source, since to a tittle was in use in exactly the same sense for nearly a century before to a T appeared (it’s first recorded in a play by Francis Beaumont and John Fletcher of 1607 with the title Woman Hater: “I’ll quote him to a tittle”).
We know tittle now mostly in the set expression jot or tittle, meaning some very small amount and in which both words refer to a tiny quantity. Jot comes via Latin from Greek iota, the smallest letter of the Greek alphabet, which we also still use to refer to some minuscule amount; tittle is from the same Latin word that has given us title, but has usually been taken to mean a small stroke or mark in writing, notably the dot over the letter i.
And you wondered why I never get anything done.]
So ANYway, I have not stamped anything blog-worthy, and I'm tired. I got some new goodies in the mail today, so I'm going to play a little bit before bed. Thanks for stopping by!